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What's in Your Handbag? Four Tools to Have In Your Life Handbag

Dec 10, 2021
Handbag on dirt road

Instead of asking “What’s in your wallet?”, how about “What’s in your handbag?”  When my kids were little, I had a handbag that was prepped for the apocalypse. I had everything in there. My friends knew that if they forgot snacks, I would have enough for the entire playground. Runny nose - let me get you each a separate package of tissues and baby wipes.

Need a distraction? Let me reach into my trusty diaper bag and pull out crayons, an activity book, and toy. But you know what wasn’t in my handbag? My own helpful items. 

As a mom, I prepared for everyone else first, and myself last. I wonder, “what it would have been like if I had supplied my handbag to care for myself along with my kids? What if I were ready to deal with whatever life threw at me, just like I was prepared for whatever trouble my kids would get into?” For me, life coaching has given me tools to have in my “life” handbag, ready to help figure out whatever life has for me. 

Here are four tools that life coaching has given me: Awareness, Growth, Intention, and Self-confidence. Each of these concepts has its own importance separately, and together they have a synergy that keeps me on my path of figuring life out.


Before life coaching, I had no concept of how my thoughts were impacting my life. I felt as if I was going through life in a fog. Everything was happening to me as if I had no control over what was happening in my life.  At that time, I wasn’t aware that I had options to experience life differently. Life coaching has given me the ability to recognize my thoughts and identify the feelings arising from those thoughts. Once I gained awareness of my thoughts and feelings, then I could choose how I wanted to respond. 


After gaining the first tool of awareness, I could start to see where I wanted to make changes in order to experience life the way I wanted.  But, many times change is uncomfortable.  Change can take us outside of our comfort zone, and our brain resists saying, “No! Don’t! Stay in the cave where it’s safe!” I understand now that there may be discomfort along the way to finding my path.  I also know that I am consciously choosing this discomfort in order to grow.   


There is a difference between intentions and goals. To me, a goal has a finish line or a final product. Intention is the energy or process behind reaching a goal.  For example, to reach my goal to be a good parent, I set my intentions to guide my interactions with my children.  Focusing on my intentions can drive my behaviors and decisions, guiding me to accomplish my goal.  


Life coaching has given me self-confidence, to know that I am better equipped to handle whatever challenges or obstacles that may come my way.  It tells me to keep trying to figure it out. Without this tool, I wouldn’t be as likely to take risks or to try anything new. So now I make sure to keep my self-confidence in my handbag, pushing me forward toward success.

If you are a physician mom feeling overwhelmed by divorce, schedule a free Next Steps Call with Dr. Stefto discuss what to do to feel better and determine how coaching can help you get back to living YOUR life.

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